Many times throughout this journey you will be faced with issues such as this. I completely understand where your coming from. My ex has the kids every other weekend and at least one of those days, she will leave them at her parents.
This is where you need to find a balance. Yes, it's jacked up to us normal folks, but remember what you are dealing with right now. I can understand your frustration. Are you more upset with that fact you are not being included or the fact that this means more "me time" for your H? Because the "me time" isn't going to stop for a while regardless of the outcome here.
We must pick and choose our battles wisely. How big of an issue do you want to make of this? You need to use caution, in HIS world, this could be viewed as controlling. I do agree that you being their mother, need to be informed of where your children will be staying, but if your looking at this as an opportunity to stop the teenage "me time" I don't feel that it will.
I think you answered your own question when it comes to saying something to your MIL. I would say no. The less she is involved, the better.
When it comes to their relationship right now, think teenager. This is no surprise, strange isn't it?
Ultimately it boils down to finding a balance as to what you will and won't put up with. Many times we must ask ourselves if this is the hill you are prepared to die on?
Take a little time and think of a way to possibly presenting this to him that gets your point across about keeping BOTH parents informed and included, without coming across as controlling in the MLC world.
