Unfortunately this is based on a lot of assumption but she and this other person have a history. A few days before the bomb I asked about him and she said something to the effect "I miss him he was like a pseudo-bf to me when I was at school." This person does live 4 hrs away btw. With us being separated it makes it awfully difficult to really have total concrete proof but at one time this guy was her safety net when she was still in school. Someone that she could be more of a friend with but without having to worry about getting intimate with.
Right now I am not going to re-act. I do need to hear more info from the ppl on here. The thing is though I have not heard one thing from my wife in over 3 weeks. I probably have some mail over there I am sure and still I haven't. It wasn't long that I had the forwarding done so I am sure there is. I suppose I will have to initiate convo and ask her if I do but it seems odd that she hasn't been cooperative to tell me to get mail, etc. She has been before. For some reason she does not want to deal with me at all. Even when it comes to filing D or logistical stuff (mail, etc.)
Anyway I don't plan to be rash until I get more advice. I have a GAL day planned today. I have a DB coach and plan on getting a session soon. I am in a calmer state but the thing is for my sanity I know I am possible going to have to ask her to move things forward because I don't know if she actually will herself. BTW I am in a calmer state of mind. I have been dbing for over 2 months and do understand to keep the anger in check and keep my cool.
