I'd like to throw a note of caution here. For years, all I heard from my W in the way of complaints was "We need a vacation", "We need a bigger house", "We need a new car", "I need..." All I kept hearing was "More $", "More $", "More $" I realize now that she really wasn't asking for these things. She was asking for Quality time and support. I think this may be a pretty common problem.
I'm sure you're right. However I must point out in your defense, if she didn't even know what she *really* wanted enough to ask for it in simple, clear terms ... I don't see how you could have been expected to mind read. I mean, you kinda DO need $$$ to get a new car, etc ..... All you can do is go forward from here, which you are trying to do.
Glad to hear she is at least verbally agreeing to stop to contact with OM(s!).
Re: Doing Things. Even when things aren't great -- maybe *especially* when things arent' great -- I'm a big proponent of doing things where there is something to actually be *doing*. Movies are meh, 'cause there's really no communication there. Nice dinners may be too far in the other direction ... lots of space that begs to be filled with words; maybe too much pressure. Go for a walk or a hike, go bowling or shoot some pool, heck, find a park and throw a frisbee around or go on the swings. Anything that involves activity, especially with a side order of laughter or lightheartedness is a huge step in the right direction. IMHO.
"Show me a completely smooth operation and I'll show you someone who's covering mistakes. Real boats rock." -- Frank Herbert
