I want my Monkey and Sheep Back

[beepee]

So my last thread locked finally and here's my new one.

I wanted to dedicate this thread to my monkey and sheep.
Now you're probably wondering what in the world i am talking about. They are stuffed animals that belonged to my H and I.
i know, you're probably thinking, crazy girl here with stuffed animals..but they were so much more than that. they represented our relationship, they were our babies, they were so important to us.

A little behind each one.

My sheep came into my life when I was living in Ireland at my H's parents place. I was in a bad place, i didnt enjoy living there and i was getting into a deep depression because i had left my life behind in the states to be with him and i had no friends, no family, no job, just the love of my life. i just needed more than that, and i know thats how my H feels when he moved over here to be with me.

When we went to the store one day, i was looking at little kids toys (dont ask why, maybe i just felt the need to look at somethng cute) and i saw a table with all these adorable animals and one stuck out in particular to me. it was on sale for 50cents. i picked him up and said to my H, "look honey, isnt the just the cutest Monkey!!??" He walked over to me and gave me the weirdest look and pointed to a sign on top of the table that read "FARM ANIMALS" and called me an eejit in the most loving way possible i was so embarrassed! it was actually a sheep! how on earth did i think it was a monkey?? but i bought him and took him home with us and my H pulls him out of the bag and asks me what I wanted to name him and out of nowhere, i just blurted out a name which turned out to be his grandmothers name which i never knew. He was well impressed with the name im sure and my Sheep became so important to both of us.

Then later on, maybe half a year later, my H brought me to one of those beach towns, with all those casinos and entertainment shops etc. Everytime we went, he would always try his luck at winning me a toy from one of their machines and he always failed and always felt bad about it, but i never did, i thought it was so cute how much he wanted to get me a toy and if he never won, watching him try gave me so much joy. Then one day, he finally got one, an adorable elephant. But i saw the cutest monkey sitting on a shelf looking at me and i wanted him instead of the elephant but was too afraid to say anything. But my H could tell how much i wanted the monkey so he went to the manager and asked if we could exchange it and he agreed. He was the cutest monkey ever. We brought him home, and just as our sheep, our monkey became so important to us and they both represented our relationship, the good times we've had, the love we shared. Both of us would freak out if anything ever happened to them, so much so that we would keep them hidden from all of our little neices and nephews.

on the day that my H packed up and left. He took them with him. That broke my heart. i felt like a huge part of me had been ripped away and i had no say in it. and i didnt. i was so angry, THEY WERE MINE TOO. a couple weeks after he had been gone, i asked him why he took them, and he said "i dont know, i was really lonely." i thought he had taken them because he knows how much they represent the good times in our relationship and wanted to hold on to them.. but maybe not.

then just a few days ago, (he made a myspace page for them) he took me off their MS page, and kept this blonde irish girl on there? as if shes so much more important to him than i am and deserves to be on their page?? THEY ARE MY MONKEY AND SHEEP! why did he do that? he knows that would tear me apart and it does.

i know to all of you reading this, you might think its silly, its just a stuffed animal. they werent to me, they werent to him. they were my babies and my babies had been stolen from me and im being prevented from seeing them or having anything to with them.

but i am confused as to why he would want to keep them so much. he knows what they represent - US. but he doesnt want us anymore, there is no more us. why is he keeping them? why didnt he leave them behind with me? why is he keeping me from their myspace page and allowing another girl to be on there. the only other girl that is on there!! i want to think that he kept them because he wants to hold on to us, but he's keeping me from them. it doesnt make any sense.

I want my relationship back. i want the good times back. I want the love of my life back. I want my monkey and sheep back.