Well, to cut straight to the chase....it is my firm belief that WAS want what they can't have. That makes it more attractive to them. So, the less available you appear and the less "needy" you are, then the more attractive you will be to him.
There is one major thing that keeps jumping out to me that is a great concern and that's these "friends" he wants to give up his life, country, and family to move there and live with. What person in their right mind would do that for a couple or group of "friends"? He is either in a serious, serious state of fantasy or else there is something fishy about the whole move. My first thoughts are he is involved with another woman, and my second thoughts are not near as nice.
If I were you, I would stay at home just as to see who was coming to help him move. However, I would not tell him b/c he would probably plan to have a "go-between" instead of the actual person or people involved. I know this may seem outrageous, but you read about it all the time here on the board. Couples who thought they knew their S better than themselves are suddenly turning into a complete stranger.
Once he is gone, the deatchment will be better for you. It won't be any less painful....but easier than when living under the same roof. I do suspect he will be back with his tail between his legs b/c unless somebody takes him in and takes care of him as well as you did.....I'm thinking he'll be back. That may be a decision you will have to make farther down the road b/c you may decide you don't want him back after he's treated you so badly. Hurt does awful things to people. I don't know you, but as I said before, I believe that you will make it--b/c I sense you are a strong woman and full of courage. I don't think you are one that gives up easily, but you also face reality for what it is. Am I about right on that? Bet I am.....
Thank you for listening to me. I have been M for many years and have a wonderful H. A lot of "stuff" has happened in our lives and I got pretty lost there for a while. We are doing good now and I want to return what was given to me....and that's why I'm here. It takes people wanting to "hear" what needs to be said.....and that's why I knew you were a wise lady!
You take care and know that I'm here if you need me.
Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
