Okay...I went back and deleted the post I almost sent b/c I do not want to come across as being disrespectful--when I’m trying to talk to “you” about respect. Whether you choose to look at her small gift as a bribe or not....it was, and I believe she intended it to work as a bribe to make you calm down after you told her what you did. Did you not find that odd that she bought you something "after" you spoke about the OM? Furthermore, she does not respect you as her H.
You are singing to the choir here b/c I know about loss of respect for the H, and having an EA...and I also know what you are talking about where that fine line is concerned. However, if you do not have her respect...then how do you expect to have her heart? I would dare say that one reason for her falling for the OM was b/c she felt a degree of respect for him...in a weird way. That is embarrassing to the Christian community to think OM won an unbeliever over to Christ and then have an EA with her! But, I never thought I would be guilty of looking at another man, either, so I can’t really point fingers. I do believe that her feelings may have started with a sense of gratitude or admiration and OM did not protect her as a young convert. I hope you know what I’m trying to say. It "should" have been like a teacher-student type of R. So, I am thinking that he may have been the one to take advantage here, or for sure....gave in to his temptations toward her. Man, that's awful. It's enough to really mess with her head, isn't it?
I understand what you are referring to about WWJD, however, I also think that some people’s thoughts about that issue is not a clear understanding of the Person of Christ, IMHO. Another subject....another time.
As an almost WAW, I would encourage you to ask yourself in every situation, "Will my W have respect for me if I do this or say this?"
Take care, Sandi
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
