I usually read a person's thread before jumping in, but I am curious as to why you avoid calling your W's EA what it is. Why are you going all around the lake to keep from hurting her feelings when she is cheating on you? How can you be upfront, on board, outspoken, or whatever you called it....when you can't even say the word "affair"? As long as you are willing to not push this ______ (fill in the blank), then I can tell you that you probably will have a long, painful wait ahead of you b/c if you are okay with living like a roomies.....she certainly won't have a problem with it.
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After our discussion we ran separate errands and she bought me a small item I like, which made me feel good, and made me feel close to her.
Oh man, come on and wake up. You played a sucker right into her hands. Can you be bought with a "small item"?
Hi sandi. I actually don't know why I haven't exclusively used the term affair or infidelity. I will going forward. Maybe I didn't want to seem like I was trying to stick it to her. You know, "WWJD" and all. But like I mentioned, it probably allows the affair to seem to antiseptic, which it should never be.
Regarding the small item, I was not bought off by it. It just made me feel good and close to her, which is me being honest. I certainly wasn't going to slap it out of her hand and say "thanks, but I'll wait till you dump the OM."
I tolerate nothing regarding the OM in my presence or in our house. But it seems there's a fine line to walk with regard to my behavior toward her. I can't be an ass and drive her away, and I can't be too nice, imply that I'm cool with the EA, and let her get the best of both worlds.
It's a tough spot, but everyone here is/was in the same boat it seems.
WAW Using God Me-43 W-40 M-14 S-11 S-9 D-7 EABomb 5/09 Separated 12/09
