Glad I was able to be of some help making you feel a bit better today. THat's the good thing about a board like this, I wish I had found it earlier, it would have saved me some down moments.

THings are going... I've been smiling too today. H picked me up at work today and we had such a nice conversation on the way home. Not about the affairs, and I wasn't the one starting it. But we did touch the subject of our marriage and what we want from it, and what we're willing to do for it.
I still think there's a long road ahead of us, he still thinks it's done and over with and that should be it.. but we were able to meet in the middle for now, which was quite nice.
I was a bit sad yesterday. I still feel quite insecure in this thing. I know the best solution is to live day by day, and I usually do it anyways so it's fine with me but because of all that happened I really need ot feel some security somehow.
Sometimes I have really silly days - we used to call them my frank spencer days - where nothing goes right, and I guess yesterday was one of them. It just feels like I have to be perfect all the time, and that's a big strain cuzz I'm far from it
I think one of the things he really has to work on is trying hard not to take it on me when he's upset at something else. He tends to become irritable and that scares me because he used to act like that when the affair was on. I understand it doesn't have to be related to the affairs, in fact I believe it isn't, but it just brings back the kind of deja vu that I'm trying to avoid.

On the other hand there's the nice stuff too, like a big hug out of nowhere, and thank you for not giving up, and he even waxws my legs last night and massaged my back to sleep. As I say, there's the high points and the low points... we'll have to get them balanced some time
hugsies
nightshade

"Each and every one of us is deserving of a kind word, a gentle thought and the gift of understanding. "