1 and 2. The listen and the put down can be handled easily by err, not talking, just nodding, Hmmm, ok or other one words. I had these issues too! Only talk to him about as you would a co-worker, no deep topics, only polite chit chat full sentences?
3. Thats harder when someone else is too, so its about trying to treat him like a co-worker who is angry. Sounds like you have been doing quite a bit of work on this one.
My H lied heaps during anger, not like him at all. If you are both stuck, then its you showing how right now how to interact differently on these issues, one little step at a time.
