I just realized now that today is our anniversary (16 years). I'm not sure what to do with it. There is such emotional distance right now.
I'm enjoying my GAL activities so much, that I want to keep doing them on my own. My W has expressed an interest in joining my dance class. I've been going solo for this year, and don't want anything to disrupt it's positive energy.
I'm not sure where my W fits into my dance activity at this time. I think it's best to do what I can to preserve my dance time as continuing to be a positive activity. I've made the mistake in the past of joining my W in activities out of obligation, and tolerated any negativity. I want my W to be part of my dance life, but I'm going to be more selective in terms of how we spend that time together. I don't have a problem going to any venue with her. I want to protect my class for myself. My guess is that if she joined my class, she would eventually bring negativity into it. I think it's important to be honest with her, if I have reservatons about joining me for class, and work on a compromise.
She's off to Puerto Rico for two weeks with her friend. I hope she has a nice time, and restful vacation.
My back is about 85% better. Daily dog walking keeps it strong and loose. I stretch on the days I'm going to be dancing. I stretch my hamstrings, whenever I feel symptoms returning. Keeping the hamstrings stretched seems essential. The fish oil, bromelain, and turmeric supplements help. Chiropractic is helpful, but self-management is more important.
I often find myself wishing I were D, so I could pursue woman I'm attracted to. It's easy to idealize people, based on brief interactions. I remind myself that dating or being M to them would change things. They would have expectations of me, and I would get to see their imperfections.
My IC is helping me to navigate some job stress. I've relocated to a new office in our agency, and am trying to adapt to a new supervisor, after being with the same one for nearly 13 years. My IC says to grin and bear it for now, to make an honest effort to meet his expectations, to not take his feedback personally, to display confidence and good cheer in the workplace, and to let things beyond my control unfold.
CL
CL 53 W 54 M 20 yrs. 03'-09' Separation + Old Patterns + GAL 10-14' Piecing
"The Master allows things to happen. She shapes events as they come."
