total quarter life mlc

[Sanderika]

Good Morning Mdoodles,

Snodderly is wise. Trust her. She is telling you like it is and exactly the same similar stuff I have been telling you.

YES, she does drive bys.....The OW here in my life does them on a fairly regular basis. She comes by here first when she can't find her "Boyfriend".

I actually told my neighbors what she drives and I get reports she's been around even when I don't see her. The other evidence of this is that when my H is here he hides his vehicle behind the barns so she can't see it from the road in my driveway.

The distance she lives does not matter.....The OW here lives 42 miles north from my town. H does not live with me, he lives in my town though. Nothing will stop her if and when she is desperate and feeling insecure. THIS YOU CAN TRUST.

Listen to snodderly and the rest of us. Watch your back. Keep your doors and windows and car locked up at all times.

I think too that the calls have waned for now because H has calmed her insecurities. She won't stay this way for long. Be aware when you least expect it that she will make contact again.

Again, mdoodles....this is what MLC does to men. I agree with snodderly. I have lived it. I have tried to explain to you some of the dramas I have lived through. For now, your H in full blown MLC is behaving as expected and normal (if you can call it that....I do). All you can do is detach and leave him alone. NO CONTACT WHATSOEVER, UNLESS LITTLE SON NEEDS MEDICAL ATTENTION. NO EXPECTATIONS WHATSOEVER. When H surfaces and he will treat him "as if" nothing is going on and be kind and friendly and genuine. Be real, fake they will surely notice.

This is a long haul....if you want to stand, start practicing and maintaining an approach to H. Don't waiver off your path even for a second. Everytime you do will drive him back into the tunnel. Be prepared for it to take a long time before H recognizes and trusts you and he feels safe being around you.

Keep in mind none of this is your fault. However with that being said, your H does not agree with this statement. So you need to approach H as if to validate his thoughts and feelings.
Mdoodles, unfortunately you have to do all the work. With faith and time, hopefully your H will wake up from MLC Land and want to reconnect with you and little son.

You need to start to pave the path back home for H. You need to make the path look desireable, safe, warm, comforting, loving, respectful,etc....He's likely gone for good unless you can turn his eyes, heart and mind back in your direction.

Stay in touch we all want to help you so much.....

(((((HUGS)))))

Sanderika