Here is my favorite post regarding fear, please refer to the topic concerning becoming opposites:

http://www.divorcebusting.com/forums/ubbthreads.php?ubb=showflat&Number=96158&page=1

Me 36, Him 33
M 11yrs, T 15yrs
S 8, D 7
ILYBINILWY - 1/09
H moves out 10/09
D to be final SOON I HOPE!