Dear Chel, you may not welcome any POV from a person who was almost a WAW. I won't say a lot except that I have read your entire thread and it seems that you "mother" your H very much and very often. He appears to be a "mamma's boy" to you more than a H who has the b@lls to be the man he should. It's been said he wasn't the worst MLCer but yet, I don't know how you've dealt with him as long as you have. I know you are in much pain and probably think that your life is over, but I think you sound like a very educated lady who can do about anything she decides. I believe that the shock of all of this pain has caused you to lose sight of how classy and talented you are and maybe even how much you have to give as a woman. I hear this in your post, Chel.....I believe you are that lady!

When I said that you mother your H, I do not mean that as an insult. It happens all the time with W's and we don't even realize what we are doing. He not only sounds very selfish, but very spoiled. I am glad you have a good R with his mother and family, but please don't make any more decisions for him or try to "fix" the R with his family. Also, be warned the blood is thicker than water and you will probably be seen as "outside" the family if there is a D. I'm not telling you anything you don't already know, but when it is "our" pain....it is hard to see our stitch as it often is.

I wish you all the best. Please take care of yourself.

Sandi

It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!