Kassie sorry I missed you for awhile...Been extra busy with work and my minds not quite "been there" lately. Will try and post more later but one important thing to remember is an A is all about instant gratification...When things get hard it's frustrating because we want everything fixed right away, if not well screw it it's not worth it, this mindset passes with time...
It sounds like he is getting there stay strong.
Me:40 W: 39 T: 17 years M: 15 years S-9 D-6 D final 11/10/2009
"We are all faced with a series of great opportunities brilliantly disguised as insoluble problems."
Thanks V, I think IC told H the story about "sour grapes" and it seemed to stick in his mind. We talked about the instant gratification thing before and he was totally surprised that he is like that and is only seeing it for the first time. Told me to remind him of it when I see it - but I don't think I will only b/c I don't want to be his therapist. What I need to hear is that it gets better -
Another thing - to both our surprise... ex sponsor called H the other day to check up on him. They had a good convo and sponsor told H that even though he is no longer a sponsor - H should feel free to call if he ever feels like it. H felt good about that interchange and says he will call once in a while.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Yes, we are good. It was a tough week, busy at work, and little contact. We took a few days off for a long weekend. Bummed a bit b/c the weather isn't cooperating.
No setbacks, all is good, looking forward to MC on Sat. Going to talk about our negative pattern and communication.
Kassie, I guess that maybe his mother influenced him some. But he seemed to start pulling away even before that, maybe it was all the dog drama. I dont know, but I have only heard from him via text massaging twice in the last 2 weeks or so. I just want to scream at him! When his A started she said that she always thought that I would be the one to stray... who says that to your daughter in-law who just found out her H is having an A? She encouraged him to "Do what you need to do to be happy".
But...Im glad that you two are doing so well!
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Hope you and your H spent some quality time and MC went well.
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
Hi kassie...I see some things are "happening" for you and your H. I'm so glad to hear he's seeing an IC.
Thanks for stopping by my thread. I posted today. Things aren't too good in my sitch, not that that's very surprising. My H still completely rules out any kind of counseling, even MC. He said he'd rather get divorced. (then he says he doesn't mean that, but you know, what DOES an alcoholic ever mean?)
I have a question for piecing members - I am seeing major changes. They are very good changes, but I am wondering if these changes remain or is he just on good behavior? We are still living separately and I wonder if it is easier to make the changes as sort of his way of courtship - which means that after he moves in, just like getting married, things will go back to the way they were.
Ive heard of "hysterical bonding" that happens in the beginning of peicing. I think that there will be a sort of honeymoon phase, but if the changes that the two of you have made are real then when it settles down, it wont be like it was before.
I guess I gave the wrong finger to the wrong man...
Me: 46 FWS: 36 Married and Divorced 4/07, Pregnant 7/07,False R 7/07 Baby Girl born 3/08 Kicked him out because OW: 7/08 5/10 He realized what he had and lost. Moved home! REMARRIED 3/14/11!!
