My email regarding communication is going to be super straight forward.
I'll probably run it by here or by T before sending. It is too important.
This was our R. It is good to see it so clearly. I would be a cup half full, solution oriented person seeking rhythm and grown up interaction. H would act out until I lost my sh*t, fell apart, acted like a maniac, then he'd feel guilty and try to appease me, tell me what I wanted to hear...etc.
No, it is not ok. And, I intend to get help for me And stipulate in our agreement (that I am formulating in my mind to be discussed with L next week) that we both are in counseling individually with a pro who specializes in narcissism/personality disorders. He can fight me on that but well, you know where that'll end up.
I am getting much clearer and for now, biding time, for my sanity and the kids, I will ride the calm wave while it lasts, knowing that things change quickly over here in AK land.
H's mom is a drama queen, narcissist, enabler...God love her, she busted her a** to provide for her kids (note here on the "they'll figure it out"), H sure hasn't figured it out.
I will do everything in my power to stop this cycle and that does not mean staying married. It means healthy parents for my kids. If it has to be just me, so be it but I think I have a lot of leverage to get H on board and an expert might be able to get somewhere with him. I would rather give up on the M (cuz I do think he'll come back, just relatively unchanged without help). If we completely split and each get help, that is worth it...
