So it begins to get over my wife

[MrBond]

Ah, got it. So it was the typical father-figure relationship. Understandable given her age.

"she had more freedom in our R then anyone i know of, she just constantly craved that independence."

She had more freedom than any "married" person you know of. There's a difference. She's acting out as any 21 year old would. You mentioned that she seemed more mature than her actual age. Obviously that's not the case.

Pardon this "psycho babble" but it seems like it's more of a father daughter R where she doesn't want to lose the stability you offer, but wants the independence to go and experience the life she feels she's missing out on. Kind of like when we're teenagers and tell our parents that they can't tell us what to do, yet we go back and ask them for the keys to the car.

I don't think she's mature enough to actually put into words what's going on in her head, so you probably won't get an answer. Gucci says you have to wait for her to tell you why you should take her back or whatever, but it doesn't sound like she knows. So you might end up waiting for an answer that she honestly can't answer right now.

Maybe one of your conditions is that you both see a solution-based C if you decide to give it a go. IMO