Ok. Just got a completely sane and lucid phone call from H saying that he couldn't stand to see me looking sad today and he knows he blows it when he communicates with me and he would like me to let him know what I don't want him to do. And he said something about just having me tell him for now what I want (communication-wise, not R) and therapy doesn't work (most recent therapy actually improved communication substantially by his assessment, but ok...I had alluded in my email to the fact that we are going to need to get help, he clearly wants to avoid that especially after his recent behavior)...
So I emailed and told him I appreciated the message and I need some time to think about it (yay me)...
So now he is pretty close to perfect in communication and this is because I pushed him away, said leave me alone and looked like an emotional wreck this morning. Per therapist, when he sees me doing well, he acts out in one way, when he sees me down, the guilt kicks in and he goes the other way.
I will be responsive to his good behavior and keep the boundaries and see how that goes...running back to the therapist on Monday.
And finally, my dear friends, just for your pleasure sock me with a giant 2x4 for that tiny little thought..."man, if he could be this guy, I could perhaps be with him..."
Oh right AK, you have to be a frickin' sleepless, miserable, angry mess for him to be decent...right, sounds like our M.
