balancing on the head of a pin.......

[pearlharbr]

So I wonder sometimes, "does everyone else get to screw around in there marraige but me?" What is wrong with me? Did I miss that part of the agreement? Maybe I'm just not good enough for someone else to want to risk screwing around with me? I realize this smacks in the face of DB'ing but sheesh..... Do I ever get to cash in this "get-out-of-jail-free" card?

I totally understand. I am struggling with this feeling myself. I don't feel like I'm not good enough because I'm currently in a situation where someone has made me an offer knowing the basics of my circumstances. So on one hand I know the pain and suffering cheating causes one's partner and I never thought I could be so cruel to do that to someone else. OTOH, sometimes I feel like I'd rather even out the score than constantly being the one to take the high road. Like I said, I struggle with it on a daily basis. I'm hoping it will fade with time but I fear it will never completely go away.