Responding late to Thinker: "How to improve your marriage without talking about it" by Stonsy/Love (man and woman writers). Amongst the very many books/articles etc I read the last 2 years this one was by far the best (together with PM) when you do have a partner and are in a relationship. In most of our cases, (since we are in situations where we are separated) it provides many answers to the persisting question "why" that we all have stuck in our heads and makes clear -it did for me at least- the responsibility we both had for the fall out and how it origins a long time before the actual bomb.
*Mindblank, it is worth reading-I think it would help* K
PS All the knowledge broken down (together with PM), gives me no excuse to fail with my next marriage
