Trying to stay positive w/o getting too hopeful

[Kelly23]

adb,
I want to walk with you but am not sure if I have the strength anymore. I want to give up. I wish I had your determination.

I flew to NY a few years ago with a male I work with and the two of us stayed with a male gay couple that we had went to college with years ago. We are all 4 friends and husband said he did not want me to go but was not going to tell me what to do since I was an adult. (Husband is homophobic.) I went. It was selfish on my part but I knew I would never have the opportunity again.

It came up in our argument this week and I really think husband has held that grudge for years.

Before H started hanging out with people at his work that I think were a bad influence on him, he would go out with my friends and I really miss that. I have asked him the last 3 times I had an outing to go to and he declined.