How bout telling him you will act like his W (thus taking care of his needs) when he starts acting like your H.
HA! Love it!
Quote:
Got a text from H a little bit go. It says "nobody loves me" with a sad face.
I have not responded. I assume I don't, right?
Right! That kind of immature behavior doesn't deserve a answer! Expect him to do about anything at this point, just to see if he can break you down. He's probably shocked that he can't get sex from you while he's seeing OW! So, I think he'll play on your sympathy or whatever he thinks it will take to get you to "give in". Be tough!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Don't. Definitely don't. He's just trying to draw sympathy out from you with his pitiful, woe is me crap.
Give it several hours. If he sends something else equally pitiful, then the only appropriate response (other than silence) would be, "I'm sorry you feel that way."
Period.
Or even better -- "God, 'pathetic' is sooooo unattractive!"
Everyone's right, Ashlee -- DON'T ANSWER HIM. He's just being a whiny little baby, and trying to make this all about HIM.
Thank you Sandi and Miska - I didn't respond and haven't heard a peep, yet.
Originally Posted By: sandi2
You are wanting him to fight for you. I don't think he will. He doesn't have to. I realize you want this MR back on track, but remember that he wants what he can't have. When did he start asking you if you'd take him back? AFTER you took off last weekend! He thought he's lost you.
Sandi - I agree with you 100%. He does have to fight for me. I think he's just expecting me to say okay, good, you want me back, no problem, let's just go back to the way things were. But there is NO going back.
H started getting frisky this morning. I said no. H asks why not. I eluded to our conversations yesterday and said there would be a lot more to talk about and work on if we were going to try to make our M work. Are you guys ready for this one? H asked me if I thought withholding sex was going to do any good because if I had sex with him, it would help him feel closer to me and by NOT having sex wtih him, I am pushing him further away! WTF? I said nothing and he got nothing. I wonder if all the crap he talked about yesterday was H trying to get me to have sex again.
I did check his cell while he was in the shower (I know, no snooping but I wanted to check on his statement from yesterday about not talking to the b!tch for 2 days). OW called 3 times yesterday, leaving one voicemail. He didn't talk to OW (at least he erased that history if he did). There was a text from OW after the third time she tried him which asked if everything was ok. H texted back with a 'sorry, I was pressure washing and didn't hear the phone' (however, he had to have heard it cause he checked his voicemail the minute after she called).
I also found a text from last Friday morning from H to OW. It said "good morning babe!" and ended with "MUAH". (I've been told that MUAH means a kiss)
He's playing me. No doubt in my mind. Here I am working to save our M and now I'm having doubts he'll ever be able to be the H I need.
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
H started getting frisky this morning. I said no. H asks why not. I eluded to our conversations yesterday and said there would be a lot more to talk about and work on if we were going to try to make our M work. Are you guys ready for this one? H asked me if I thought withholding sex was going to do any good because if I had sex with him, it would help him feel closer to me and by NOT having sex wtih him, I am pushing him further away! WTF?
The next time he says that (and this guy's a broken record -- he WILL), say: "If it's pushing this 'you' you've become lately further away, then the further the better. Who you are lately isn't very attractive to me, to be honest with you. If you ever want to grow the hell up and get SERIOUS, and try to see if we can build a NEW relationship together, then we can talk."
The next time he says that (and this guy's a broken record -- he WILL), say: "If it's pushing this 'you' you've become lately further away, then the further the better. Who you are lately isn't very attractive to me, to be honest with you. If you ever want to grow the hell up and get SERIOUS, and try to see if we can build a NEW relationship together, then we can talk."
I LOVE IT! I'm gonna memorize it cause you are correct, he will bring it up again.
Me: 39 H: 39 S: 15 M: 18 years Bomb: 6/3/09 H moved out: 10/15/09 H moved back:5/30/10
I also found a text from last Friday morning from H to OW. It said "good morning babe!" and ended with "MUAH". (I've been told that MUAH means a kiss)
He's playing me. No doubt in my mind. Here I am working to save our M and now I'm having doubts he'll ever be able to be the H I need.
Ashlee,
Last Thursday evening was when you enforced your boundary with him about not contacting her from in front of you in your own home, and he left. I'm sure by Friday morning he was very angry with you, and feeling all full of entitlement and justification.
I wouldn't put too much into the timing or content of that text, is what I'm saying. I'd look more at what he's done SINCE then, not that it's great either -- it's more waffling -- but it's not so awful. It looks like he MAY be trying to avoid her (which also may be why he's so horny).
Puppy has a point Ashlee. If your H thinks you are "punishing" him by withholding sex.....then he'll sulk, pout, get mad, the whole nine yards.....however, if you let him know that you do not find him attractive.....well....that is another matter, entirely!
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
