Yesterday started out very rough. I don't really know why as nothing had changed. If I look at the progress over the past 5 weeks I should be thrilled. She said she was starting to 'despise' me because of all the chasing I had been doing. I read DR the following weekend and immediately started doing 180. I called her and told her that the girls and I were going to a garage sale and she was welcome to come. She said she'd think about it and then she called back 30 minutes later and said she would.
Since then I've sort of backslid on the 180 and LRT. When she came to pick the girls up (I watched them yesterday while she was working) we talked a little more. I mentioned my concerns about the kids having no choice in the SITCH. I tried to keep it civil and it was. She told me that if I didn't get my hopes up that we'd be getting back together in 3 or 4 months that she wouldn't feel the need for divorce right now. She's worried about money. She says she's made her decision and she doesn't love me nor want to be with me - but I'm not so sure. When I told her that one of the things I regret the most will be our lost history together and that seemed to strike a chord with her.
She left - I didn't call her last night. She sent an email to me last night thanking me for watching the girls while she worked and thanking me for explaining myself on some stuff we had been talking about.
If I factor out what she says (IDLY, I've decided on D, etc...) I can see optimism. I know she is scared and angry about the situation and people say things they don't mean when they the feel that way.
