Time to detach, the D talk has subsided but H has made absolutely no attempts to change his plans for leaving next month and possibly all the D work may be just too much for him and I get the feeling H will just leave first. H has already lined up a place to live mid-August but I have already indicated I am not going to agree to using one attorney that he picks.
I cannot talk R because H's mind is nowhere near the land of reality so I find I have nothing else to do but Detach.
We both work together and our housing is tied to our jobs. My H would like me to stay put when he leaves. H feels they could replace him and I could stay here. I told H I had no intention of staying in the same job or asking my employer and board members to create a new position for myself.
For the process of detaching is it appropriate to tell H I am going to look at a couple of new places to live on Saturday and will be gone most of the day? Or, am I to go without telling H anything?
My H had a vasectomy this week and is still recovering. I did not want the vasectomy and told him so, but I took him anyway. The doctor told him he needed to come back in 3 months for a sperm check. I could tell H had not heard that before because he kind of turned white. H was planning a move to Canada next week. However, I have said nothing or asked nothing if he plans to keep that appointment in October. I did think though I would love to get the calendar and ask him if I should put it on the calendar - would that be appropriate?
Okay, let's face it I am such an emotional wreck right now and have not been talking R but have been a doormat and need to stop that immediately. I know I need to detach but I still so much want our marriage to work. My goal is to get him to agree to Michele's Divorcebusting intensive 2 day session but my window of hope is closing quickly and I am starting to kind of freak...
Any words on detachment would be greatly appreciated!
Thanks, Michele M 42 H 41 M 16 yrs. Together 20 yrs. No kids, 1 cat Bomb 5/16/09 D papers unsigned on table
