Running out of gas

[Jimbo]

Hi MW,
Sounds like your meetup with your W went well. I'm glad to see that you're finally getting some sleep. Now, more than ever, it's really important to take care of yourself. A short while after my W dropped the bomb, someone told me to join a gym and work out. It was the best advice I had gotten since all this went down, and I highly recommend it to you, if you're not already doing it. Scientific studies have shown that regular exercise helps you to "chase the blues away", modifying your brain chemistry and helping to lift you out of depressive states. If you're not doing it now, I strongly encourage you, from personal experience, to try it out. It helps a LOT.

We're supposed to meet at 2. I show up at 2:05 and there's a guy who is just leaving. He's young, maybe in college. He's clearly there just for my benefit. There are no introductions, but she does say "say hi to your mom for me" as he's leaving. Running into her on Friday with my friend has clearly gotten to her.

I'm glad you recognize this for what it is. This seems to me, from my own experiences, to be the "Monkey see, monkey do" effect. I can tell you that when I met my W one time in new clothes, the next time we met- she was wearing new clothes. When I told her I was going out of town, she and the OM would take little trips out of town. I can only theorize that, since she saw me upbeat and at my best, that she felt that she had to convince me that she was happy too. Either that, or that she's actually so miserable that she was willing to try the things that seemed to make me happy. Or maybe both- who knows.

She wants to know where I'm going so she can forward the paperwork. She's asked twice now, so it must be bugging her.

This dovetails right into her previous fishing expedition when she asked if you were moving into "the big city". You're still in the back of her mind, somewhere.

It's going smoothly, until I say, "regardless of moves out first you'll need a key to get your stuff."
W: I have my key from before.
M: You'll need a new one.
W: What? You changed the locks? Nice.
M: Yes
she starts to cry a little, then is furious
W: When did you do that?
M: October
W: Were you ever going to tell me?
M: I hadn't gotten to that point yet.
W: It doesn't matter.
So ... it was hot for a little while. I didn't explain. I didn't say anything really.

I wouldn't let yourself get too bent out of shape about this bit. The MLCers seem to "recover" very quickly from fights like this. I'd be VERY surprised if she'll even remember it next time....

She keeps trying to talk about signing papers and everything else. I kept to the gameplan, we're only talking about the move.

This is what's known as MLC blahblahblah. Have you ever seen little kids that want to participate in an adult conversation? They'll act the same way- they'll participate in the conversation by talking about what THEY know about, which is usually what they want/did, and has absolutely nothing to do with the topic being discussed.

There's a lull, so I'm the first to say "well, we're done. I've got things to do" and i get up. As we're leaving, I comment on something stupid and she starts joking around with me. For a few minutes we're just like it always was. As we're outside she asks if I rode down to meet her .... i say no, bye, then walkaway ... all mysterious like.

More fishing by her to try to find out if the friend she saw you with is "more than a friend".

I'm feeling good about the encounter. Nothing I did today was what she was expecting. I'm mysterious. I didn't have to be jerk to do it. I was baited several times, kept my cool and just let it roll.

You seemed to be in control and demonstrating an upbeat attitude. Good for you!

Did you experience any of what you learned about DBing coming back to you effortlessly while in this encounter?