Hey?!? Who Locked Up My Mojo?

[AlexEN]

DQ,

This is very interesting... There really are four "sets" like this that have to be managed for an R to thrive:

1 - What men want in a woman
2 - What women want in a man
3 - What men want from themselves
4 - What women want from themselves

What I mean by that, is that it seems to me it's a very delicate balance to get all of those things in synch in any individual relationship. If the relationship ends up being driven too much by any one of the four, it's probably in trouble.

Although part of me wonders if "want" should be replaced by "need"... In which case, one's R has to strike a balance between:

1 - What men need in a woman
2 - What women need in a man
3 - What men need for themselves
4 - What women need for themselves

And, parsing even further, in any individual relationship:

1 - What a man needs from his partner
2 - What a woman needs from her partner
3 - What a man needs for himself
4 - What a woman needs for herself

If either partner is focused too much on what the other needs (or, worse yet, wants) the relationship is co-dependent; if either partner is focused too much on his or her own needs (with the same caveat about "wants") the relationship is in-dependent and anything but a "partnership".

I think there are certain commonalities across most relationships, and I like @Coach's list as a starting point...

Appreciated
Seen
Heard
Understood
Loved
Accepted

...But, my guess is those things mean slightly different things to different people (and they will have varying degrees of "needing" each). After that, each relationship/partnership will have its own set of needs that have to be kept in balance.

And staying "in balance" requires commitment and SELF-KNOWLEDGE from each partner and is why the different languages men and women sometimes speak is at the root of so many breakdowns, as without communicating what we need from ourselves and each other to each other, that balance is all the much harder to achieve...

Wow, what a ramble... @DQ, that's where your post took me!

-AlexEN