You hit a topic that I try to avoid - wasted time. A couple more months and it's 6 years. SIX!! OMG!! Did I diddle away 6 years of my life waiting for my H to work his way back? He's not even all the way out of the fog yet, what's yet to come? Will it be what I want and need? Maybe I'm just not good at holding an R with anyone and I'd have screwed up with someone else by now!
Stay strong, stay positive!
Live your life while you are still living. Riding the trail less traveled.