~ My story ~

[Distracted1978]

To all - My story is very long just as the majority of the ones I've read here. I'll try to be as brief as possible & only hit the points of major importance ~ or milestones so to speak.... I'm not sure of all the abbreviations here, but I'm trying to catch on : )

Here goes:
My H & I worked together - social able co-workers, after a couple of years, he married his long time girlfriend, after a couple of months she stopped taking BC pill & got PG discretely.... before baby was born I started noticing an new attraction to me. I made him aware that I was aware. Contact almost stopped - fast fwd a few months post birth - Husband calls & says it's over with W & wants me....fast fwd through all that drama (TONS of drama).

Married in October 2004. (1 yr exactly post dating)
I have 3 children of my own, he has 1.
January 2007 - decide to have baby together
April 2007 - Pregnant (pg)
January 2008 - our son is born
February 2008 - I do not want to return to work - H says go...
August 2008 - Trip to Vegas for just "us" (something we've never done before)
August 2008 - Return from Vegas & have a new sense of love & commitment for H - tell H how I am feeling so blessed & blissful
August - October 2008 - try my hardest to hold on to feeling - H pushing away
October 26 2008 - Tell H marriage is over
October - December 2008 – let go a little more with every push
December 2008 – had an affair – feeling a lot of guilt & regret
January – March 2009 – total chaos & destruction….. Meanwhile, still continuing my own affair…..
March 14 – H moved out
March – June – Back & forth & back & forth…. One or the other continually wants to get back together, but the opposite isn’t. We try & fail anyway. Typically ending in a nasty way, both broken again. Children hurt worse, etc.
Also found out that H is on dating sites, this site, has been dating young girls (he is 28 w/ 5 kids – one girl only 19….)
June 24, 2009 – H comes to me telling me he wants to come back home after I have let go (really let go). I tell H I need to think about it… I had finally decided to move forward & here’s the possibility of getting pulled back….considering what has happened all the month’s before.

July 1, 2009 – My parents come to visit – H is invited to spend “family” time together H says that he will not unless I give him an answer…..
July 2, 2009 – invite H to eat dinner with family – refuses to do so without answer – bursts out in anger @ me. Says he’s going to do something for himself if I don’t “want him”. I, of course, resort to anger & lash against him for refusing to at least attempt to be “normal” for a dinner…
July 3, 2009 – I begin the begging process – now H refuses. Tell H that we are going to do fireworks with the kids & ask for his attendance – still “NO”. He says & I quote “just because you had an epiphany, don’t expect me to come running home!”
July 5, 2009 – H shows up at marital home – where I reside with children – states he was wrong & does want to come home. Am I missing something here?
July 6, 2009 – speak with H all day by email as we are both working. In the evening,discuss wants/needs for future; decide to try ONE MORE TIME. Make love for 1st time in months. I can tell something is really different though H has said he “waited” for me all this time…. Turns to me after intimacy and says he has been with someone else….all weekend….a few miles from marital home…was supposedly at beach 3 ½ hrs away with guy friends…. I comfort him in his time & tell him everything will be okay. I hold him after this devastation……
July 7, 2009 – Sociable, but not really speaking of the past
July 8, 2009 – devastation hits me……what has happened? Who is this woman? My H has said he could never be with anyone else, but me, no one compare to me! He told me that he couldn’t have even performed if he wanted to b/c his body wouldn’t cooperate, etc. What made her different? Depression sets in. I send him an email & ask for reassurance with no response. Curiosity set in. He told me numerous details (I did not ask) about her. How they met, the town in which she lives, how many children she has, her age….b/c of how they met (online dating) she was VERY easy to find. She was very attractive in a sort of trashy way. Pretty woman, but you could see that she wasn’t of good moral standing by her photos & profile. Maybe that’s just my opinion… I immediately became enraged inside! I left work & went home to lay down just to get some peace & asked my H to pick up the kids and not bother me when he got home. I NEEDED SOME TIME TO MYSELF TO DEAL WITH THIS! That did not happen; he questioned me repeatedly about why was I laying in the bed crying. I finally told him why & instead of comforting me as I had him, he lashed out at me! The “you did it too” lashing, etc. This went on for DAYS. By Saturday the 11th it began to get physical. We have never touched each other in anger before. I found that he had told her very private details of our sex life – the he liked but I wouldn’t do kind of things…this was worse I’d ever felt. More than an affair betrayal could ever bring me emotionally. How could he disrespect me to that extent?
July 12, 2009 – He finally goes back to his apartment. Here we are AGAIN! We’ve been here so many times before…. I am SO tired of all this. Our children haven’t gotten any peace b/c we can’t seem to act like we have any sense 99% of the time.
Where do we go from HERE? This new place we’ve never been before. Apparently we just cannot MAKE it work………
July 13, 2009 – someone pushed his “reset” switch. He is “in love” with me again! HELLO????? IS ANYONE OUT THERE???? We were on the verge of destroying each other & have said & done an extent of damage that is beyond repair & you want me to try again???? NO!!!!!!!
July 15, 2009 – I continue to refuse my H, he becomes more and more angry of my refusal, starts to accuse me of another or restart of the old affair.
I AM HONESTLY JUST TIRED!
Begins to threaten me with my children, says he will move back in, tells me what I can and cannot do, etc.


Today, July 17, 2009………..DISTRACTED 1978