I haven't really looked all the posts to compare "going dark" notes and success or failure. I may do that...interesting research.....
I know for me, I left my H alone for more than two months as much as possible. After 5:00pm I would not call him. And we were only dealing with logistical things when we did talk or text before that time of day. I admit, it might have been easier for me to do this because I saw him often because we have a child.
But it was a mistake in the end...I really just gave him a schedule as to when he knew he could contact OW on the phone without having to worry about interruptions from me. And in that time is when the EA really flourished.
I stopped calling him at work. I used to call twice or so everyday to check in. Rarely was it important. It would be maybe 3 minute long conversations about nada or something funny, etc. Maybe logistical, but whatever. The point is I stopped it to give him his space. Later I learned that also gave him the green light to do whatever at work, without feeling guilty for flirting or talking with her at work. He didn't have to think about me in anyway shape or form because I stopped contact.
Basically, going dark, there are two ways to see it: Absence makes the heart grow fonder OR Out of sight, out of mind.
When H had his EA going at work and on the phone after work, when I was completely leaving him alone, I was out of sight, out of mind.
Recently, in the last 6 weeks to 8 weeks it's been more Absence makes the heart grow fonder.....but I'll be honest here because it really really matters.....that's about the same time the EA really really came to an end.
I think when there's an EA or OP involved, going dark just opens up the door to let them go do whatever with little to no thought of you.
