So it may make men seem shallow, but I believe men are attracted to women who show open admiration for the man
I'd prefer to wait for @Kettricken, but I think she and I see eye-to-eye on this topic generally, so let me say that from my POV this is shallow. In fact, I would go so far as to say that, in many instances, "open admiration" is a substitute -- and a poor one -- for precisely the qualities that so many here say are "desirable" in a man: Leadership, Strength, Masculinity, etc.
Recall the nasty-grams I got from some who shall remain nameless concerning my Florence Nightingales. This was "shallow!" I was merely "puffing myself up!" It was phony validation! Ego-stroking!
Well what you're describing above seems an awful lot like that to me. I believe the old saw about Mr. Businessman and his secretary reflects Mr. Businessman's lack of self-confidence (read Sloan Wilson's once-famous, now largely forgotten, The Man in the Gray Flannel Suit, for example). He picks on the under-educated, wide-eyed ingenue pecking at her IBM Selectric or changing tape reels on the UNIVAC because she offers admiration and validation -- all the things he doesn't get in his "real" life.
To me that's every bit as phony and superficial as anything I was accused of. Ben Franklin, old Poor Richard, noted that "admiration is the daughter of ignorance," and Dr. Johnson observed that "admiration begins where acquaintance ceases."
I don't want to be admired. I want to be known. "Known" used there in much the same way that MWD uses "heard" when discussing listening to one's spouse.
