Boy was I in a pissy mood yesterday. Feeling much better today. I am still out of town and today is my birthday. My sister came down and I think we are going to check out some nifty restaurant she recommended. I've not had contact with my wife in well.. I think I forgot how many days actually. I never thought that keep yourself busy would turn into nearly completely overwhelmed with work Anyway, I will look into how to get out of dim/dark mode if it is so recommended.
Hi Drew, did I ever answer your question about how my H changed? You asked me over on my stitch and I thought I remembered answering, but can't find it right now. Anyway, he did not really do that "much" changing b/c he did not have the DB tools, however, he did open up and at least put forth some effort to "talk" to me. He doesn't know how to express his emotions as well as I would like, but I have decided that I have to accept that. My H was always a considerate person but I noticed that he seem to be extra considerate to do little things for me......but this was after we had gotten through the really rough patches. I think he was depressed for quite some time and he had a right to be. I had knocked the breath out of him. If he had acted as if he held a grude against me or could never trust me again.....I don't think I could have made it, but that was the greatest factor as far as I'm concerned, I could tell that he truly forgave me (even though he was crushed) and that he was not going to stand over me to see if I was behaving myself. His actions, his face......everything about him that I recognized.....told me that he was okay and that we were going to be okay again.
I haven't told you much about his end of it, but "I" was the one who came here to the board looking for answers, so it's kind of hard to speak for him. That is what I saw from my POV.
It is not about what you feel should work in your M. It is about doing the work that gets the right results. Do what works!
Did you guys ever separate for a while? Unfortunately I am feeling a little confused right now on how to deal with my WAW. I went really dim for a few weeks as I had a long business trip to go on anyway. I am doing well with my GAL and realizing my life will go on regardless but there is that nagging feeling that I need to open up a little bit again. I guess that feeling of unconditional love will do that to a person. It is fortunate to hear that forgiveness is a key. I am in an easier position to forgive because of the nature of the sitch even if an OM situation occurs. The twin S is in a relationship right now so I kind of have this concern that my W could be thinking "When in Rome do as the Romans do".
Anyway, I will look into how to get out of dim/dark mode if it is so recommended.