total quarter life mlc

[Sanderika]

Hi, you see I worry that without telling them what's going on that they dream up all kinds of bad stuff. Stuff that's worse.
(I know what can be worse) Little boys have incredible imaginations. I worry that little son thinks some of this is his fault if not all of it. That is a common conclusion most children assume.

My son has been in therapy for several years now. Your psychologist knows your son, you know what's best. It's your choice.

For son to change schools is easy at 5 years old. He will adjust very fast. The younger the better!!! Will it be kindergarten or 1st grade this year?

For son to move will be a bit difficult, especially if he's only lived where you do now and it's close to grandparents. He should be told you are moving soon. He needs time to get used to the idea too. (IMO)

You do realize that for son going from seeing Dad on a regular basis to talking on the phone only with Dad is something son already knows is very different. Son most likely is already wondering why he doesn't see him that much anymore. Son does know that something is wrong in his family. I have always thought it better to nip something in the bud than let it go on too long which can only make an explanation more difficult. (IMO)

Mdoodles....don't wait to tell him this stuff all at once, it will be way too overwhelming for him and he will have a difficult time processing it. If it's comes all at once you may end up with a very angry little boy who developes behavior issues from it. IMO, if he is told a little about everything he will cope with it. In a few short weeks, son is going to experience some major changes. His current structure and routine is going to change, it's changing now. This is a fact. It is out of his control. IMO it would be better to share. Giving son a chance to process the changes at a slower pace.

again, JMO....only you know what you want.

Is this the same OW he left you for before he came back and opened the store? Has she always been the one or has he had others?

If so, I assume she has a tighter grip on him for now. She has convinced him she is perfect for him and you never were. It's called: The OW looking out for her best interest.............. In reality it's all lies and desperation. If this is like my sitch, H will at some point make a turn to be more committed to OW than his family. Here it happened approx. 1 year post bomb.
This is the MLC Fog. It's the tunnel in the dark. He can't see the truth for now. H is living free. This is what he wants. You, son and family are not important to him right now. This is why you leave him alone. Let her dig her own grave and she will. I bet the shovel is already in her hand.

My guess is your H is in this mode with her. They only thing that can change it will be her becoming very comfortable in her sitch and with that she will show demands, control, insecurity, mistrust. I used to say the OW here has my H wearing a choke collar with a 1' leash. It is true. This is what happens. So to keep the peace in their fantasy of a perfect world they turn away from us. It is temporary, trust me. The shine wears off and the ugly starts to show. This does take time. The reason it takes time is because only through repeated controlling, nagging, insecure and untrusting behaviors from her will H see her for what she really is.

I really don't think he has found a job. He may have applied for unemployment funds. She is maintaing his room and board.
He isn't giving any money to you. He doesn't have it that bad right now, in his eyes.

I do think he is putting her feelings and wants in front of you and son. I think it's like I said above. She has him snowed, he's whipped!!!!!

Her lashing out was pure insecurity and she is threatened by your existance. I really don't think your H was pleased with her about this. It is possible though that he has not confronted her. Instead he has assured her there is nothing between the two of you anymore. I know this hurts. This is what my H did to me. You see they lie to us both. They are in the middle. Ultimately H does not know what he wants. This is the truth.

Keep posting....this is so hard to figure out.

You need to DB your a$$ off starting now....It's your only chance.

Sanderika