I think your right. I can never justify her actions. But I can certainly understand her reasoning. She left me a note when I got home saying that, "Im not sure if this is the way to deal with things. Im not sure if I am dropping the kids off and returning . Im not sure if want to come back. My no 1 priority is the wel being and safety of the kids. I want them to be happy. I have messed up but have done so much to keep the family together. There is no denying that you are a better father and husband NOW. I cant risk you taking the kids from. Nor can I have you using the kids as leverage to keep me with you. I deserve to be happy and you do too. I cant stick around (more on this l8r) and hope for this move and your new job, while wondering if your gonna take the kids fro me. It makes me sick to my stomach. You told me to get advice from my family. THIS is what they think. I am given no choice until the move... if you move (bah we planned on moving to GA, but needless to say the job hunting isnt going easy). I cant do this, it mentally and physically makes me sick. I love you as their father but I cant feel more. I havent felt anything for years, you know this. It is something that I am positive will never come back. I cant stay unhappy forever. I will do anything in my power to make sure the kids have the best chance possible at hapiness. Im not sure where I go from here. I need space and time PLEASE."
I sent her an email saying this to her
I wont pretend to know what you are going through right now. I thought maybe i understood for awhile but I don't. I cant imagine how hard it was to take the kids from me. I know you must feel torn between your duties as a mommy and your own desires. I'm not sure what to do or if I should do anything. I'm not sure what to tell you or if you should even listen to me. I want to help you Melissa. I want to be there for the kids. I'm not sure how to be a father or a husband this far away from you guys. What I can be though Melissa is a friend. Sometimes family are looking out for what will make you happy in the short term, instead of whats right in the long run (mines trying).
Take the next couple of days Melissa and think things through. Stay calm, Cool off. Dont do anything rash. Search your soul, clear your head, pray to God, spend time with the kids (for me too) and talk with your Mom and brother. I think you understand the consequences. I'm responsible for much of what is happening right now, for the most part Ive taken the family down this path. I messed up and you hold our families future in your hands now.
The hardest thing for me is to give up trying to control our lives. I really had no choice in the matter but maybe that's for the best. I will give you your time and space for now. Please take care of the kids, but most of all please take care of yourself. You know how I feel about you guys. Anything you need...
