Gosh, girls, I`m just so thankful to both of you for your time and input on my sitch.
H has always been moody nad yes, in some kind of cyclical phase-just out of the blue for a couple of weeks he`d stop talking, look very sullen-basically sulk-and give nor reason why. Very infuriating to live with!(oh and of course I got infuriated and then he`d get annoyed at me for getting angry....I don`t do anger anymore;it just doesn`t work)
He had an affair with a co worker a 18mths prior to his threatenng to punch me. I found out when her H rang. Our M just slid down the slopes from then on. Some would say what led to the A. I was utterly shocked and had thought everything was fine between us. But he says everything was wrong with me-I was too hard on him, I was no good in bed, we are incompatible, blah, blah. Yet, last Xmas he sent me a card which said there would be better times ahead. Its a selective memory thing. Our M has had ups and downs. This nightmare is making me more aware of what I could have done to save the downs.
Thanks for the depression insight, SR! I`ll be waiting for that window! And I`m trying to figure out the cycles. I`ve always felt he improves before he goes home to his folks and is worse when he returns. We`ll see;he`s due to go down there next week. I might have a window then.
Will try the happy family last minute thing. Can`t think what that can be and even, given H`s intractibility, if it can be. We`ll see!
MB, good idea on the `let`s drop the big issue and have some fun` convo! Like that idea of not having a serious talk with H and keeping things light. Mind you I am in LRT for MONTHS at this stage, just looking to change tactics.
Good to know you`ve survived this Big Anger thing too.
