It's a shame how complicated things get when there are children involved...My parents divorced when I was 11 - and within a few years my mother started telling us (I am the youngest of three) that my father left because he met another woman. The information didn't help us at all - in fact, it only made us think that my father loved this woman more than he loved us - at least that's what it made me think...and it was a thought I carried/carry with me through my life...even though I know it's not entirely accurate.
When my father heard about my STBX dropping the bomb and wanting to leave - he came out to see me (a rarity) - and while he was here he told me a lot about how his divorce from my mother affected him - about his feelings of failure - and how hard it was for him to deal with not wanting to be with my mother - and feeling like we had turned against him...he wasn't saying he was right to feel this way - just explaining how he felt he failed us as a father when we were kids...
I'm mentioning this here for what it's worth...since, in a sense, knowing that my father had an affair never helped us cope with it - it just introduced more questions that I could not understand until just recently in my life...
Don't know why...this stuff was just on my mind this evening...
