Thanks for all the great posts today! You have really given me a lot to think about and what I keep hearing is detach, detach, DETACH! I am learning. Every day gets a bit easier. Some days I feel good. Other days not so much. I don't cry very much anymore but those days I am more focused on him are the days that are not as good.
I think for me right now the anger (which has dimished from a few days ago for sure) is way better than the despair I felt at the beginning of all of this. I am not letting my anger direct himself at him (at least outwardly) and the 48 hour rule seems like a good rule.:) As long as I don't let it consume me, I think it is an okay thing and something I need to process.
I know I have already made good changes for me that I plan on being permanent. Seems like I will have a lot of time to perfect them through this crap. And while yes it is NOT about him he has noticed and has even told me so a couple of times. I am also taking better care of myself than I have for years - pre kids probably. I lost 20 pounds on the MLC diet. ortunately the weight loss has stopped and I need to put a few pounds back on but I am hoping to do it right. I am also pampering myself more than I have in forever. Goodness knows I need it!
It is not fun to hear over and over about how long this takes if they ever do come through but I am also amazed at how much time has already passed that I have survived. It has been four months since "the bomb" but looking back, I now see little ways that he has subtley shown his struggles outwardly which I can date back to at least 8-9 months. I know the inner turmoil (besides the childhood stuff) has been bothering him for literally years, probably since his minor QLC about 9 years ago so it is hard to say when he "started" the MLC.
The thing is, he has been pretty friendly lately and even a bit considerate of me once in awhile. What a nice change that has been! Again, trying not to focus on it because then when the "bad" continues it makes it harder when I have seen the good.
I am prepared to wait it out, at least that is where I am now.
