Thanks so much for your input and funny story. Another tough night for me/us though. The kids are putting alot of pressure on our R. I need to work on not letting my stress with them leak out on us. Easier said than done.
If my H only had some of the skills in place already that I know our therapist is going to work on with him, like affection he could deflect alot of my hysteria. Either way we are both able to nip things in the bud and bounce right back. I think this is important because for the longest time I thought if he came back I was going to be held to this unrealistic perfect behavoir and I can see that he doesn't expect that at all.
He told me that he expects for me to "mess" up it is how I recover that he is most "watching" in a way.
Now wonder there are so many bad marriages out there with people walking around having no sense of these skills/
