It has been a long time since I have been on these boards and I'm really surprised that I could even find my old thread. I know this forum is not the forum for this post but this is where I lived for quite sometime.
I have been D for about 18 months now and for the most part extremly happy. I have my two little girls, a good job, and enjoying my freedom. I don't advocate D. I did not choose it. For some reason my xW had to start a new life of om. From my experiance there is a lot of great people on this board that they too were pushed down this path. Why... I wish I knew all the answers. But that is life and life does move on.
I have been at the point where I stopped trying to figureout why for sometime now, now I'm just living my life the best I can. I have many blessing that I am greatful for: my precious girls, good job, friends, family, list goes on....
I'm not really sure why I even came to this site tonight, besides having time because I'm waiting on my last load of laundry so I can pack for vacation. But now that I am here I do remember the pain that I felt while I was active on these boards. This board at times was the only thing that I had, seems strange but it is true. I feel for everyone that is on this site because of a walk away spouse. They really don't know what they are doing to you. I recently lossed my aunt and though I will miss her dearly the pain of her loss did not compare the loss of my xW. Might seem like a strange comparison but they are both losses that I had to grieve and come to grips with. Please don't read these words and feel bad for me... I truly am a better man for what I went through. Hopefully all of you are able to save your M's and don't have the end that I did. Atleast that is my hope and prayer.
I really didn't plan on coming to this site today, so I don't have any prepared speech for you all. If I can leave you all with one thing it would be to worry about the things that you can control. Your responsible for yourself, and children if you have them, be able to look yourself in the mirror and be proud of who you are. Your not defined by the crazy sitch that you find yourself in. You may not feel it rightnow but you are worth some much more then the disgarded trash that you currently feel like (atleast that is how I felt).
