The apple doesn't fall far from the tree. Never mind that man behind the curtain. Stay focused. I will be sorry when this thread locks, but, I know how to contact you. I hope you will have the patience to help guide me to help me weather the storm as well as you have.
I am lucky indeed to have 'made your acquaintence'. Stay strong. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
Yoyo, flattery will get you everywhere with me.... You are defiantly right about my girls having me wrapped around their finger. It did not take my D for that to happen.... because it happened the first time I saw them. I was an instant softy.
Well not a whole lot to update everyone on. I know spring is supposed to be here but when you wake up and the temperature is 32 degrees...you just wonder if it will ever get here. I should not complain I did go golfing a couple of weeks ago and it was a beautiful day. Hopefully I can get another 18 holes in this weekend. Besides golfing...softball is going to be starting up for me next week. I have been looking forward to this time of year for sometime now. Though it is one more thing to cram into an already busy schedule.
My schedule(on my own and with my girls) is one of the bigger things that I have been trying to juggle. I find that all I seem to do is work, take care of my girls, and clean. Mind you I do take time out for myself, but, I would like to find time to finish school, volunteer, coach.... but I have no idea how I could do any of those right now. Maybe this is just the season that I am in or/perhaps maybe I need to re prioritize somethings.
One other thing that I struggle with, your opinions would be appreciated, is how do I answer my girls questions about OM. My struggle is this... My X has made it public that she and OM are in a R and are trying to play happy family together. So my girls have a lot of questions and confusion about this....along with hopes that we would reconcile.... My girls have a lot on their minds at such a young age, I don't want to add to their angst... Now I find myself being overly cautious in what I say to them about the D and OM...but I also don't want to leave them more confused.... As young as my girls are they are starting to put it all together. My oldest thinks that my X has two men...OM and me...but since we are/were married she thinks my X choose me and will come home in a couple of years. Just last night she told me that... I told DD6 that mommy broke up with me and choose to D me..which means we are no longer married... I try to let my girls know that this was my X's decision and that no matter what I love them. I don't want them getting stuck and angry about the past..despite their mothers choices life goes on.... So far I have been able to be open and honest with my girls about their questions without putting down their mom or OM. I'm just finding that harder and harder to do..
I think we hit on this. Good to talk to you Em. Keep in touch. Will do the same. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
It has been a long time since I have been on these boards and I'm really surprised that I could even find my old thread. I know this forum is not the forum for this post but this is where I lived for quite sometime.
I have been D for about 18 months now and for the most part extremly happy. I have my two little girls, a good job, and enjoying my freedom. I don't advocate D. I did not choose it. For some reason my xW had to start a new life of om. From my experiance there is a lot of great people on this board that they too were pushed down this path. Why... I wish I knew all the answers. But that is life and life does move on.
I have been at the point where I stopped trying to figureout why for sometime now, now I'm just living my life the best I can. I have many blessing that I am greatful for: my precious girls, good job, friends, family, list goes on....
I'm not really sure why I even came to this site tonight, besides having time because I'm waiting on my last load of laundry so I can pack for vacation. But now that I am here I do remember the pain that I felt while I was active on these boards. This board at times was the only thing that I had, seems strange but it is true. I feel for everyone that is on this site because of a walk away spouse. They really don't know what they are doing to you. I recently lossed my aunt and though I will miss her dearly the pain of her loss did not compare the loss of my xW. Might seem like a strange comparison but they are both losses that I had to grieve and come to grips with. Please don't read these words and feel bad for me... I truly am a better man for what I went through. Hopefully all of you are able to save your M's and don't have the end that I did. Atleast that is my hope and prayer.
I really didn't plan on coming to this site today, so I don't have any prepared speech for you all. If I can leave you all with one thing it would be to worry about the things that you can control. Your responsible for yourself, and children if you have them, be able to look yourself in the mirror and be proud of who you are. Your not defined by the crazy sitch that you find yourself in. You may not feel it rightnow but you are worth some much more then the disgarded trash that you currently feel like (atleast that is how I felt).
Scott....you're a good man. And good words coming from the same. I have your contact info. Still hope for that beer sometime. Should you change anything contact-wise, please fire off a call so I can keep updated.
This place...is not for those who are rebuilding and moving on. Enjoy life. FIB
Me 55; XW 47; 2 kids (S13, D11) Bomb 05/19/06 Original thread http://tinyurl.com/yg2ou2t Last anniversary 04/25/10, Divorced 5/12/10 Status: Loving father of 2 beautiful children;
