WAS seeing reality?

[v1olin]

I did say, "have fun" when she said she was taking them to her brothers house.:)

[v1olin]

Just off of the phone with my DB coach and she has set me straight once again. I have a better picture of what I need to keep doing now. The coaching really helps and I urge anyone that can afford it to do it.

[v1olin]

My wife got home to pick up the kids for their dinner at her brothers house and everything went fine. I greeted her with a nice big "Hi" and I then told her what a great time the girls and I had at the park. Her mood was good and I left with a "have a good time at your brothers house!" I think I did all right

[v1olin]

Another uneventful encounter with my wife tonight. She came home and I was sitting onthe floor with D22 months. We were playing as my wife came in with D7. Both of my girls love the heck out of me and they do not want me to leave the house right away. So I play with them a bit while my wife is there and I think this makes her rather uncomfortable. I guess that is a good thing right?

Wife tells me that HER coffee maker stopped working and I looked it over and said "thats a bummer."

I was nice and she was nice but man did she look great tonight! Ughh, I just want a hug from her soo bad I have come a long way since 3 months ago when I would ask her for a hug everytime I saw her...then I found the DR book and stopped all that.

I am thinking about taking pizza over there for the kids tomorrow and invite my wife to eat with us. What do you guys think about this idea?

[JR09]

Violin,

I also asked my WAW to have lunch or dinner with the kids
and I. She said she'd think about it, but it didn't happen. And that's OK too. I didn't push the issue. No pressure. As long as I had fun with the kids, that's all that mattered.

JR

[v1olin]

JR, I invited her to eat dinner out with us on thursday and she did turn that down but I think going out was too much for her to give. This time I will just bring the dinner home and see how that goes.

[v1olin]

The dinner tonight kinda turned out how I planned. I went with the kids to pick some pizza and salad and had it back to the house before my wife got home. My youngest was hungry so I went ahead and got everything onto plates and bowls. Wife still not there. We started eating and before you know it we were done eating before my wife got home.


She got there just after I had started to wash the dishes. She came in and while I was Upstairs with D22 months I heard her ask D7 "did Daddy eat?" Thought it was funny that she was concerned about it.

We ended up having lots of good chit chat and I got to play with my girls alot longer. I was playing with my youngest daughter by holding her upside down and tickling her belly and my wife sat there and watched almost a full minute and then she says, "So, you went to the dentist?" (That is a 180 for me- I know I know, I should have gone a long time ago.) I said yes. She said "wow, you haven't been to the dentist since I have known you."


A good night I think. She laughed a few times, we talked about our kids, and I left 3 hours later than usual. Now, how do I get her to hug me?

[v1olin]

Had a great weekend with my girls! We went to a parade in my moms town they loved it! I dont think they have been to a small town parade yet, it is much different than something like the 500 parade. People were sitting onthe curbs and the kids were able to catch candy being thrown from a very short distance.


Today we went to a large state park and I grilled hotdogs at a park grill. While the dogs were cooking we heard a tree getting pecked on. I looked and spotted a woodpecker. This was the first time that my D7 has seen a woodpecker! She was very excited about it. Seems she gets excited about the simplest things since this crappy divorce started. I pointed out the bird to my D22 months and she said "Ooo,bud." She is sooo sweet! Here vocabulary has quadrupled in the last 2 months!
As we finished our lunch two male deer with antlers and all walked by us about 100 feet away.


The we went on a guided nature walk and learned some things about local plants,frogs,cicada killers,and grandaddy longleg spiders-who here knew that those are not actually spiders? I didnt.


Now, when I talked to my phone coach, Cheryl, she said that if my wife called over the weekend to ignore the call. She said that if I have the kids then ignore calls from the wife. So wouldnt you know she calls this morning at 10 am. I let it got to voicemail. Turns out she just wanted to know when I was bringing back the kids so she could plan her day. She called back about 1.5 hours later and I told her that I would have them back at the same time as last time. Which was between 6:30 and 7PM. She said OK and sounded alittle thrown off. When I got the girls back home I asked D7 if she wanted to tell mommy about all the animals that she saw at the park. So my daughter started telling her about all the things that we did there. Wife seemed to be bothered by something as I noticed she was picking at her fingernails as I said that we went on a guided nature walk and roasted hotdogs, da. da. da. in an upbeat and cheery voice. Maybe she expected me to be in a tired and cranky mood after taking care of 2 kids almost 3 days straight? Thing is, that is not much different than when I lived in the house. I was always the guy that did the fun stuff. I am more than ready for the joint 50/50 custody! Bring it on!

[v1olin]

Question for everyone- If my wifes Love Language is Gifts then how would you incorporate gift giving while still trying to not pursue her? Thanks!

[v1olin]

Ok, I tried something different to see what her reaction would be. She said she had some pictures of our daughters for me to have. She handed the pictures to me and I already knew that there would be no pictures of the 3 of them together-and there was not. I said, "why is there no pictures of my girls with their GORGEOUS mother?" She smiled and seemed to be almost blushing and then said that there was'nt any. But anyway, right afeter that she was much more talkative and we looked directly into each others eyes as we spoke. This is something I am working on as I have always had trouble looking people in the eye while taking. When the convo was getting good and I thought she was having a good time I said that I had to go. My coach said before,"dont let her get bored before YOU end the conversation."

On another note, my D7 told me that she told wife that getting back together with daddy is the best thing for the family and that she should change her mind. Gotta love her! Of corse wife just tells her to not worry about the divorce and to let the adults worry about it.