There are so many similarities between your wife and my STBXW. They both have huge self-esteem issues and want(ed) to live in the 'we'll be a big happy family while we live apart' thing going.
Bottom line: Your wife's issues have nothing to do with you. She has little to no motivation to address them. She is much happier living day to day in your current arrangment. It's perfect for her. On 'good days' she gets the illusion of living an independent life which boosts her self-esteem (at your families expense). But on a bad day you are right there to rescue her, supply her with a lifing comment, etc...
I don't want to be negative, but this situation likely has no end. It's perfect for her. Meanwhile, for you, it's like you are waiting next to your wife at a hospital bed, patiently waiting to see if she comes out of the coma.
Sure, you see changes over time. But she is emotionally unstable... of course she has changes. But they are mostly just random. Each time, you see a little change and try to see it as something planned and a positive step forward. But is it really?
Don't make this about her. Make it about you. You need to decide how much of your life you are going to invest in this arrangement. Only you can make that decision.
My thread, Carpe Diem #4 Orig Thread: Carpe Diem #1
