Oy vey. I'm sorry about that but listen....statistically speaking....the OM will blow up. It will end horribly and I speak from experience. Just wait it out and don't ask questions if you can control yourself. I had a hard time with that in the beginning. I wanted H to just tell me that he wanted to be with her so I could get the hell on with my life...he never gave me a clear answer...almost like he knew it wouldn't end well either.
Awhile back I moved out, with our S, forcing H to move back into this house. Lots of people here gasped as if I said I want to save my marriage so I filed for divorce. It wasn't a popular move but some did support me and so did my DB coach. She broke it down perfect: You've been a doormat up to this point. Now you've grown a backbone, showed it to him and it turned him on....made him remember the you he fell in love with.
And I think she was right. I had been the doormat for SO long and SO scared. It was the first thing I had done for ME and really for me. H was shocked, tried to stop me, but I left. He moved back in. Ironically, that first weekend after I moved out he and I had our first real talk, where he opened up to me and really let me in on somethings. I saw that as our first positive turn in things.....don't get me wrong, we hit plenty of more bumps along the way.....but I felt good about me.
And yes, him without us in this house alone did impact him in a good way in that he first glimpsed life without us.
Not telling you to do this, but I think it's possible it could work. But you have to weigh it all out. If you think this will just give her more freedom to go super nutz, maybe not the best move.....your call.
