so i sound like a big shot now, right? like its all so simple the way i have it layed out?

just talking to him before sets me back. i can be all empowered and independent and then i talk to him. and possibly hear her in the background and i fall off course again.

why would i even want him back? we all know if he showed up on the doorstep i would let him in for the night.

why? because i have waited so long that im used to wanting it?

because im afraid to totally let go? i feel myself letting go and part of me doesnt want to let myself fully let go...


me: 31
H:29
Son:5
m:8 years in november
t:10 years
first bomb: 10/06
moved home: 3/08 out again 5/08
ow bomb: 4/08, since summer 06
d filed:6/08, on hold 6/08
moved home:3/09 out again 5/09