WAW/Affair Exposed - Advice? #3

[DCBHM]

I'm sure W has her own support system telling her to listen to her lawyer and not me - and in that event there isn't much I can do.

But her support system likely doesn't know about her affair.

As a computer programmer, I go by the method garbage in, garbage out. This means that given any invalid input you are going to get an invalid output.

Naturally any advice W receives from her family is not based on a full knowledge of the facts (her affair), and therefore she can't gain valid advice.

Since we are a 'fault' state W has charged me with two 'fault' grounds:

"Mental and Physical Cruelty" - this is not even recognized in our state and in those states in which it is recognized W cannot meet the burden of proof, i.e. there is no evidence.

"Adultery" - it is a part of our state code that prior acts which were condoned, i.e. forgiven by resuming marital relations, etc. cannot be used - and this cannot be used if the party alleging it has committed the act in question. Also it requires more evidence than a confession.


So basically W's fault grounds are meaningless and my fault ground of adultery is the only valid one.

Why am I regurgitating all of this?

W does not understand the concept of 'fault' and she doesn't understand her legal exposure. She thinks this is a matter of who can say the most crap about the other.

I'm wondering if rationalizing with her the fact that she may be exposed to legal fees, etc. would make her more willing to discuss compromise?

I don't want to come across as "threatening" or anything, but basically putting her on notice that refusal to compromise or attend counseling means I have no choice but to continue pursuing attorney fees, etc.?