I'm a strong believer in speaking the truth. And I also know that when there are not enough facts, people will fill in the voids with their imaginations. So, just the fact that the boys are making this assumption means that they were not given enough information. They need more info.
So why is your wife breaking up the family? Can she articulate it to the kids? It is her career goal? Is it that she thinks she can find a husband who will please her more? Did you do something "unforgivable"? Does she just want to live in a one-bedroom high-rise all by herself? I don't know the answer. Maybe even you don't know the answer. But the kids deserve a real answer.
And it doesn't have to be that Mom had an affair. They don't need to know everything about what she is doing. But if she has taken up dating, then she should own up to it. She should tell her children, "I want to go out on dates with other people." The kids deserve the truth. This is something that will stay with them the rest of their lives. They aren't going to forget that they were wondering what was the truth here. They are going to figure it out, maybe not this year, but someday. they may as well know now.
