K4D Rising #3

[K4D]

Stuck,

I don't mind answering. It would only be a legal D, not a spiritual D. When Jesus said the 2 become 1 flesh, let no man separate what God has joined, I don't see an earthly judge having any power to separate what God joined. We are still married in the eyes of God. Its technically like a legal separation if you are looking at it from the bible perspective.

So to answer your question of what happens if she divorces me and even remarries, I still stand for my M. According to the bible in God's eye's, she is not that other man's W. I know of success stories where the W D'd and remarried and then later D'd and came back to her true H. So I will wait.

Don't get me wrong, that will truly be grueling and painful and I have no doubt I will have a lot of despair if that happens. It will truly test my faith. But even so, I know what is biblically true.

Kevin

[K4D]

To put it another way,

Jesus said any man who divorces his wife and marries another commits adultery. And any woman who divorces her husband and marries another commits adultery. If that new person was really their spouse, it wouldn't be adultery would it?

Now you can throw in the part of except for unfaithfulness, but there is much debate about what that is really talking about as far as whether it was during the engagement and at that time you were considered hitched waiting for the sacrament part of marriage to be done which is what the catholics teach it was or whether it was unfaithfulness after the marriage was done which is what the protestants teach.

None the less in either case, the OM would not be her H per the bible, not me.

Kevin

[K4D]

I will even go a little further. While this is something I have considered in the past that I no longer am considering, there is the Pauline Privilage option I believe that could possibly allow me to have the marriage annulled in the church and therefore be cleared in the eyes of God considering the circumstances. But that is not guaranteed and I'm not sure that I could live with that on my concious.

So I will stand and keep faith and work on me until God chooses to restore us. It could be 20 or 30 years from now. I sure hope it isn't. But it could be. That would be an extremely tough and challenging road. Thats why getting a life helps out because we just don't know how long it is going to take. One thing is for sure. If you walk away and marry someone else, you may never know what might have been.

Kevin

[MrBond]

True. But would that mean that you still wouldn't remarry or meet any one because you believe she is still your W?

[K4D]

As much as I pray I don't have to go through that, that's what it means.

I guess another way of looking at it is, who are you trying to please? Yourself, or God? Which is more important? And if he will restore your marriage, can you hold out and wait for him to do that at his timing? I know I caused a lot of years of damage in mine. So I know if it takes years, its because I took years.

There are times when I see my W and think it will never happen. But then I remind myself of who is in charge and what is there that he can't do?

Kevin

[MrBond]

I guess what I'm getting at is that the Roman Catholic church condones D in two situations: abuse and adultery.

You are free to re-marry after she has moved on. I'm just afraid that if you continue to see her as your W even after she's maybe married someone else and even had children with this new person, that your belief could change into zealotry.

I've seen that happen many a time. All you have to do is look in the papers and you see how some people just snap because they continue to hang on to something that isn't there any more.

Sometimes I think God also gives us opportunities and that if we give ourselves up to Him, he will take care of us no matter what. Even if it is sending us another person.

Just my 2 cents.

[K4D]

Actually it doesn't from everything I have read and been told. But this also depends on the circumstances. It really gets kind of hairy in those scenerios. Per the catholic church, just because someone commits adultery doesn't necessarily allow you to divorce and remarry. It depends on a number of things starting with were either or both baptized before the marriage took place and goes from there into a list of questions that have to be considered. As for abuse, I believe in very rare circumstances there is a case in the pauline privilage exception for annullment that has been used.

Now it is true that some catholics have abused the scenerio's for divorce and remarriage or getting an annullment. But the tradional teaching is really more of a rarity and certain criteria has to be met.

Either way, it doesn't change my stand. I took a vow for life. It is up to me to stand in for my W while God does his work.

Kevin

[K4D]

Oh, and no. I won't be going psycho if that is what you are referring to. I have a healthy respect for the law.

Kevin

[MrBond]

No I didn't mean you'd go all psycho. I just meant that sometimes God doesn't want you to give your life up for another person. You give your life up to Him and that's it.

If your W is gone, she's gone. Will you reconcile in the future? Who knows? But God may be sending someone else your way. And sometimes you take the leap of faith and go for it.

Of course that is your decision to make when and if it gets there.

[K4D]

In any case, I can't argue any of this with my W. It just makes things worse and she just tells me she will be forgiven anyways and then wants less to do with me. lol. So, its just my stance from what I understand from the church and the bible.

If I am wrong, please feel free to correct me and show me where so that I can be corrected.

Kevin