I would do whatever YOU want to do. If you enjoy it, and your kids enjoy it, then you should go. If you'd be doing it just to "not rock the boat" or "not make her angry" or something, then I'd say no, do something different.
I do think, however, that if you DO go, you should also consider scheduling something for JUST you and the kids soon.
Puppy
Thanks Puppy. I have some ideas about things I can do with the kids. They will be excited to go to the lake, but I'm still undecided. There is a community of friends that I get along with well, but my SIL can be quite meddling and I want this vacation to be my time with my boys. I'm definitely not considering going to the lake to not rock the boat or avoid getting my W angry. She is just full speed ahead on the D. If anything it would be seen as pretty brazen given that my wife is filing. At this point, I'm pretty sure she would prefer that I not go. I've got to give it some more thought.
My lawyer told me that we should not let the court decied on temporary custody issues and money. That once we see the "proposal" from my W's attorney that we will negotiate something. Isn't this also capitulating? Is th eide to burn the financial house to the ground on principal or cut the best deal you can given the hand your dealt?
Cabbr
You will never get more than you ask for so always ask for the best.
If your lawyer is already in the mode that you've lost and you should sign whatever your wife throws at you and keep it kind & polite with her otherwise she'll take you to the cleaners, speak to your lawyer and set him straight and that if that's all he's there for is to help you sign documents, that it's not good enough for you and you will start looking for other lawyers.
Men need to stand up for themselves.
You need to speak up.
Women have so much power nowadays because it was given to them because they fought for it. Whatever is worth the price is worth the fight.
I mentioned it to you already, the courts should be deciding in the best interests of the children. How old are your kids? Are you documenting the effects that she has on them? Are you writing it down? You mentioned that your son has noticed that she doesn't eat meals with him, she is always out shopping - are you making note of this? It does make a difference if you make it that way.
Plus you sound like business guy of sorts, work in an office, some sort of sales/mgmt position,etc. Can't you work a few days from home, vpn into work, etc. I do it all the time, 2 days a week at least, if you aren't doing this, you should be looking into it. This way you have an argument that you can work from home and that would allow you the ability to have the kids for 50% of the time or more.
Clarity.
When I stopped asking for everything else from God, I asked for clarity, I asked him "help me see things, give me clues along the way, give me ideas, am I going in the right direction, etc."
Clarity.
Start opening your eyes and seeing the situation, make note of the things in your environment, make note of the effect on your children, make note of that fact that she is spending less time with them and the effect on them, make note of her general attitude towards you, make note of her crap spending habits and irresponsible behavior.
Stop being a victim.
If your dumb ass lawyer won't do what's necessary to defend you & your rights as a human being (not man or woman), find another one. Find a lawyer, consult with him, and ask him what lawyer he would hire if his wife came after him and was as unreasonable as yours. Tell them that you won't just die and submit to every request and sign over everything you have - you have rights and they must be recognized. If you are being penalized because your wife is cheating on you, there is something wrong with this legal system: get up, get involved, do some research and stop presenting yourself as this ineffectual defeatist who has no options and will lose the fight.
Your thoughts manifest your actions which manifest how you live your life - get a handle on this TODAY!
