I was told that I should come on here and make a post ever now and then, like a follow up or an update on how things are going. So here it is:
My wife and I are still living in the same house and “working on things”. Well, at least I feel I am working on things. She seems to say her being here is working on things, so I guess I should be grateful for that. At least she is here right? Well, physically her body is here. I don’t think she is always here emotionally or mentally. She keeps saying she is waiting for me to change, but I don’t know what else I can do. I have changed everything I do with still staying true to who I am. I am trying to change and work on me for me in hopes to make her happy. I feel I am doing everything she needs and for the most part, things will go good. We will have a good day, but then I always end up doing something (good or bad) and I feel like it ruins the entire day. As soon as that happens, I feel like we have to start our “trying to make things work” from scratch. I am not really sure how to handle this. I feel like I am failing in our marriage. I don’t want to let my wife and kids down. This family means to much to me.
I also (at times) feel like she might still be talking to someone. I think most of it is in my head and just an assumption, but I guess because she has talked to people behind my back in the past, it is hard to get that trust back. Will it ever come back truly? I am okay most days, but when checking the mail takes an extra 10 minutes and I know she has internet on her phone, I feel she might be talking to someone. Again, she did in the past. I want to give her the benefit of the doubt, but again, it’s hard because of how I was hurt in the past. Any advice would be great.
