I am pretty sure that I can go a month without contacting her. Also no contact with her MIL. I maintain a friendly relationship with her brothers and have never talked about any of this. And will continue to not talk about us.
Robx - as far as dating I won't be going that route. I may go out socializing with women but not dating. From what I have seen you are a big advocate of getting out there for both PMA and for the spouse to see. But as long as I am still married whether or not my wife is at home or has even filed for D I will not be dating. Just my personal choice on this. I have seen where it has worked for others on here.
If you have seen where it works yet choose not to do something that works you are in the end choosing to continue doing something that doesn't work.
One of the DB principles is to stop doing things that don't work.
You want your wife back. You see that she may be interested in other men or at least one other man. This creates a fear of loss in you. That's why you want her back more now than before.
Generating a fear of loss in her is what gets her to question if what she has been doing is the right thing.
If she has left you and is seeing another man, she has already justified and rationalized in her head that other men are better than you are, they have higher value.
If she gets wind of the fact that other women are interested in you, what do you think that does for her perception of your value? It bumps it up. The thought registers in her head what did I let go of that others find attractive & valuable? Did I make a mistake?
Human beings and probably most living things operate on some type of principle of efficiency. They don't do things unless they have to. Expecting your wife to come to her senses one day while she is out having fun with other men and enjoying a single life while you play faithful husband at home isn't going to bring her back.
It sounds like she has lost attraction for you and has found attraction to other men, you have to do things that generate attraction and flip those switches in her to be attracted to you.
One of things that killed attraction was you being jealous or acting jealous: jealousy translates to insecurity and insecurity kills attraction.
We can't force you to do what we tell you to do or give you advice on, you have to learn for yourself.
Everything about this process is counter-intuitive, it's like when most left behind husbands think "...maybe I should buy her gifts, dinners, flowers, expensive presents and maybe she'll like me again"..... nope that will just translate to I'm weak, ineffectual, unattractive and have poor genes and need to do all that other stuff to get you to be with me because I don't have enough personal value as is to get you back.
