Over the Shock and GALing 6

[Coach]

So the missile has been fired - prematurely?

Sorry SP. As much as I appreciate and really like your edits, they were mostly for naught. Sometimes things just move faster than planned.

W came home and asked to talk. I had been drafting the text - a cleaned up version of what was on the post above (without the last paragraph threatening D), mainly as a way to clear up my own thoughts.

I had a draft copy printed and was reading through it.

W saw it, and asked "What's that?" "Something that I was writing, but it is not finished yet," I said "and I am not sure if I want you to read it". "Nonsense," say's she, "If you wrote it, you want me to read it" - and grabbed it and did.

I wasn't going to wrestle her to try to take it away.

She read it and cried. We agreed not to talk about point 4. It was, after all, only a brainstormed draft where I was trying to figure things out - not intended for her. I told her that the main point was that I was ready to take concrete steps to improve things. What those steps were is something we would have to work out together.

After she cried for a while, maybe I rescued her, maybe not - but I did what I wanted to do. I took a pen, flipped the paper over, and wrote 3 lines on it:

"I care about you"
"You are my family"
"I want you to be happy"

and handed the paper back to her.

She cried a lot, but didn't talk much.

We agreed to continue the discussion at C later.

OK. Wait for her response. No pressure and no expectations. Be prepared for her to cry, throw things, spew, get needy, be sorry and numb. (or none of the above ) How you react is what you want to be ready for. Steady and measured but with passion about what you have decided you want for your family. Don't be to stoic or hard. Compassionate, loving and strong is how you need to be. You can handle it.
Just remember you wanted out of "limboland."

Coach