Newbie (again)

[dday101798]

Thanks guys.

I don't understand it at all either NCB. I mean our finances were tight as was, what in the world was she thinking, oh yeah that's right, she wasn't.

She sure does realize it now I'll tell ya. And I can't stand it. I can't stand how it's affecting all of us. Almost everytime I talk to the boys, they are having grilled cheese and soup for dinner. I can't believe I feel this way, but I wish she'd leave OM for someone more financially fit. I mean, I gave her the CS check early today since I was writing a check out for the school, then asked when I'd have her 50% of the registration fees back, she said she doesn't get paid til next week, and maybe could give me a check. Umm, hello! What did I just give you? It's a shame she gets the CS the same weekend I have them as I know a good chunk of that money is spent before they are returned Sunday night.

AGGGGH! My cell phone has rang 3 times, in 3 hours and all 3 calls are debt collectors. 5 years Kerry, I don't think so. Hell 5 months will the holidays, and looks like we aren't having holidays this year. Bad enough I won't see my kids on half of them anyway. I don't even want to go 5 more days like this. I bit my tongue on saying to XW that I wish her father would follow through on his threat and have me "taken care of".

Kerry, as far the feelings and especially the connection go, I'm not ready to let those fade away and doubt I will. At the current moment and why I gave up on trying to date, is plain and simple, for some stupid reason I still want the impossible. After all that's been said and done, I can not bear to look at XW and see how scared she is and not do anything about it. It just doesn't feel right.